Coming out of Survival Mode

Just some encouragement I would like to share, bare with me and I am going to start at the very grim beginning!! I am not wanting anyone feeling sorry for me, I am simply wanting to show where God brought me from. Time flies believe it or not, I can remember summer breaks while in elementary school and even middle school where the days seemed to drag on and on. It was so hot and of course we thought we had nothing to do!! Now I am 31 and have three babies of my own. If you had ask me 3 years ago if I thought I was going to make it with my sanity intact I probably would have said no! The twins were one and the baby brand new. Baiscally the last four years are a total blur except for main events like birthday and Christmas, anything else there is not much chance I could remember. My Spiritual life was experiencing near starvation and I could see no light at the end of the tunnel. I was sure God and Jesus had forgotten where I was, not becuase of them but because I had no strength left to even visit with Them, or so I thought. I would have melt downs about once a week and Chad would just reassure me that things would get better and it wasn't always going to be like this. He was such a stable force most of the time just holding me up becuase I couldn't do it myself. I also struggled terribly with post partum depression, some days just breathing hurt and took more than I thought I could do much less take care of three children who were totally dependent upon me. Other than my mother and mother in law I was totally by myself. They did a wonderful job when they could, mom worked and my mother in law is a pastor's wife which meant a lot of traveling. Don't get me wrong they helped out an enormous amount, if it had not been for them I would not have made it and would have probably suffered a nervous break down. Some days I could barely breathe, trying to find a light at the end of the tunnel was impossible. I drifted further from God and further from family and friends. I dreaded having to talk to anyone. I look back now and can see where the devil took advantage of my situation. Had I have known what was going on, suffering from depression and not allowing the Lord to carry me, I see the mistakes I made. Dont get me wrong, even if I had maintained my relationship with the Lord I know it still would have been a heavy load, just not as heavy. Now let's fast forward a few years as I sit here at my computer I want to be able to help anyone that I can. The Lord allowed me to go through the last four years and I am not going to keep it to myself, I went through it, I survived and I am stronger today because of it. I am a MOM!! I missed so much of the girls early growing up because I did not know what I should be doing or could be doing that would make life so much easier. Everyday was just the same do whatever it takes to survive until they go to bed. That is no way to live but I didn't know any other way to live! The fact is unless you have multiple children at one time no one can understand what you are going through. And then I went and got pregnant when they were six months old!! Which turned out to be the best blessing of my life, as all my children are. A year or so ago I started pleading with the Lord to please help me, I would do anything if I could just stop living like that. So of course my loving Saviour looked down on me and began to work in my clay, I had finally reached the bottom and knew I couldn't do it myself. I had been trying to raise my children by myself. When you finally fall on the rock or the rock falls on you and you realize that you need Him, He will meet you. I do regret that I have missed out on the last few years but I know the Lord is good and I can enjoy the rest of the years. So my encouragment to any mom would be that you can do it, it's going to be hard and you are going to be totally exhausted most of the time but let the Lord help you and keep you!! I praise the Lord for His wonderful mercy and strength.Now my goal is to make the best of the years I have left with my girls, they grow up and leave way to fast! As Sis Peach says "Jesus will help you....If you let Him"

Emma's Funny Sayings

Monkey says some of the funniest things and what makes them so funny is most of the time she is talking in a monotone voice!! I was getting on to all three of them last night for not going to bed and having to get on to them so much about going to sleep.... So I said "Girls this is ridiculous that you will not go to sleep." Monkey says "Mom this is not dickerlous" she pauses, deep sigh and then says to herself "urrggghhh I am not even saying it right".... I had to exit the room so I could laugh.
Before that we had gone to Whataburger, much to my dismay, after church. We were sitting in a booth and I was trying to explain to the girls how they should sit properly in a skirt since they are "little ladies." Monkey without even looking at me says "Mom no we are not"!!! I could go on and on about all the funny things she says, I wish I could wear a recorder to catch them all throughout the day!!

Trying to catch up!!

I am trying to catch up on everything that have let go while taking care of my sick children! Monkey came down with a virus about ten days ago and it really hit her hard. The other two did get sick but it only lasted a day or two for them... But we are on the mend and getting back to a normal routine just in time to go out of town!! LOL Having a routine while traveling is not exactly easy, maybe even pointless!! I am just thankful we are going to be able to attend Paige's graduation and head on up to the campground, which is always a blessing to say the least. I have been off the computer for basically two weeks and really miss communicating with all my friends and family. I did just want to put this up and will organize some pictures and get them on here too from the past couple of weeks.

To My Three Dearest Girls

To my three most beautiful baby girls I love you so much !! Days like today and most of them I might add are days that I am so thankful to me your mother! You are growing so fast and I wish I could just slow it down. Knowing that is not possible I am trying to make the most out of every day, every hour and every minute that I have to spend with you. I feel the Lord is helping me so much with learning to be a mom and guiding me to the right people to learn from! My hope and desire for each of you is that you will serve the Lord with your whole heart and use the talents that He has given you! Each of your are so special to me and I know you are special to Him. God allowed me to have each one of you and I in turn dedicated you and gave you back to Him. And even though now sometimes you fight most of the time you all play together so well, I know you will grow to be the best of friends! I love you so much and I am so proud to be your mother

Love Mom

Where the name came from

Since some are wondering where the name came from I thought I would share it with you. Obviously I have twins and then a sister who happens to be the baby of our family. When people would stop us in the mall or where ever, I got stopped every time I left the house, they would ask are those triplets? My response was no these two are twins and she is the baby sister. After hearing it a thousand times they started answering for themselves and they say "No, twins and a Baby" And even though she is no longer a baby she is our baby and always will be, so we are "twins and a baby"

Introducing Baby Number 3 - Daddy's Girl

I have been recently told that you should not put your children's names on the Internet with their pictures so I will be removing their names and from now on they will be referred to as 1, 2 and 3!! How sad is it that we have to be so careful because of so many predators... Anyway this is about number 3 not anything else!! I like to describe her as the joy of Christmas morning wrapped with the energy and mischievousness of the Tasmanian Devil!! She was quite a surprise to us as the twins were only six months old when I found out I was expecting! I can remember telling my doctor that I felt like I was carrying a miniature horse and it wouldn't stop moving. He assured me she was going to be relatively small.....I knew he really didn't know what he was talking about with this, I was the one providing her a home I knew she was not small!! So the day came for us to meet her and she was absolutely beautiful and weighed almost 9lbs!! She was so mad when she was born I can still remember thinking wow she really has a temper!! Little did I know then how right I was!! I should actually refer to her as daddy's girls, she had him wrapped from the beginning, there was such a connection between the two of them, she loves her daddy so very much. With her we are never really sure what to expect, I have just learned to roll with it! The other day we were at the mall with my mother in law eating lunch. There was a table behind us with two ladies and their two babies. The tables were very close together, the lady's chair and my mother in laws were almost touching and number three is sitting on the corner next to her - they were back back in case you can't get the picture!! I am watching from the other side of the table. The lady picks up her baby and he is looking over her shoulder at number three just smiling. All the sudden number three says "mom" and I can tell by the tone in her voice she is getting ready to embarrass me so I try to ignore her and carry on eating, which did not work..."mom... louder MOM that baby has a really big head mom...Mom why is his head so big?" So I am still trying to ignore her and change the subject but she repeated herself at least three times. If I could have fit under the table I would have crawled under!! I felt so bad, he did have a really big head but I wasn't about to tell the adoring mother!! This is just an example of what she is usually up to! She climbs everything, swings from everything and has no fear. When not pitching a fit she is pure sunshine ☻ as only a mother can say, right? I do believe that she was the missing piece to our family puzzle and I feel so blessed to be her mother. She is just exactly what a child should be and deserves to be, innocent and totally unaware that the world is not a safe place. She is so very loving most of the time and a great playmate for her sisters! She has a wonderful way of making you smile and laugh... especially when she is in trouble!! She is brutally honest so be careful what you ask her..I had said before she could be a future politician... "Number Three why is there water on the floor" Her response " I dunno"(I don't know) "Number three why are you hands wet?" "I dunno" Why is your sister's nose bleeding? "Mom I dunno".. You get the point but on the other hand she is so honest she wouldn't make it as a politician which I am thankful for... Number three did you punch your sister in the face?" "yes" why did you? "I DUNNO" She loves to sing and plays her recorder with me in the band at church! Her dad even lets her play the drums which is her favorite!! I had to include a picture of her pitching a fit! She is the only one of my three that do that and I never thought I would have a child that would!! Little did I know ☻I have heard the saying that children and grandchildren fill the gaps between the generations in a family and I do believe that. She is proof of that, with such a bubbly personality and a beautiful smile! She is my baby girl

The best Mother's Day present of all

Sunday was Mother's Day as you all know. Since it was Sunday we spent our day just like we do every other Sunday, going to church all day, which I love by the way. That night Emma and Abby were in the front of the house playing so I went to look for Anna and she was in her room ready for bed. So I laid down by her and we just talked about the day and what all they learned in Sunday school. As we were laying there Anna looked at me and said "Mom you are my best friend." And so now you know the best Mother's Day present of all!!!! That makes everything worth it!

Yestereday Anna and Emma were having church and I walked in while Anna was testifying!! This is her testimony " Lord help my mind I know you can. Lord go with me, I know you will take good care of me. I am happy to be here tonight" You can tell she listens to everyone's testimonies at church! I thought it was a great tesitmony myself!! Emma began by reading her Bible "Mary went to Bethlehem in Kentucky and she was there a while and had a baby." The girls love going to the campground so when they talk of going anywhere it's to the campground.

Home Schooling

The girls are doing so great in their school work, I am so proud of them!! Anna is really doing well in her handwriting, once she sees a letter she can write it without me even showing her! Emma is doing well on her coloring which is quite an accomplishment for her!! And Abby is doing so good that sometimes I forget she is a year behind them. She can name her vowels and tell you what they say!! Can you tell I am proud of them! We start every school morning off saying the Pledge of Allegiance, I really need to record this it is so cute!! Today at school my other mother, MaBeck, was kind enough to come help us do our very first lap books!! Thanks to Aunt Becky giving us this great idea! Their lap books are on the 5 vowels that they are learning so it went really well with school plus it is such an inexpensive way to add fun into the school work. It is time consuming so I was very grateful she came otherwise to have done three would have been quite a challenge! I am hoping to start our table training today, kind of like blanket training. Quiet time is something that my girls have not quite gotten the hang of ☻ Girls by nature are very talkative just imagine THREE little ones all talking at the same time! It gets a little overwhelming when they all decide to sing a different song at the top of their lungs at the same time!! I just have to sit back and laugh. When we go to bed my ears are usually hurting!! But it is funny.

Routine

I will just be plain honest with you.................. Keeping a routine is sheer exhaustion on a mother!! I know it is for their benefit and they do better when structure is in place but I am exhausted ☻ And another thing being consistent is enough to make you go crazy!! If you can tell I am venting a little bit but some of you have been asking me how it is going so I don't want to sugar coat it!! We have only left the house this week for: church twice, groceries and two errands. I have to say I am enjoying that. Once you leave the house you are spending money no matter what you do....gas...... Which since I drive the Titanic I have to watch where I go and how often. But I am keeping my head up, I have seen a small tiny improvement in Abby's behavior so there is light at the end of the tunnel. We have been enjoying our new backyard and picnic table, I have included some pictures of the girls eating their watermelon, which they absolutely love. After we finished eating watermelon we went to the Big Church to help clean, which the girls did a wonderful job helping! Which was comical because after they cleaned their window they pressed their faces against it to look at everyone on the inside! Although Emma was actually looking at herself, very closely!!The highlight of their evening after cleaning was getting to talk Bro. Brown!

Introducing Emma Victoria

I would like to introduce you to my Emma Victoria, she is my middle child even though she is a twin! I will tell you if you are ever down and out or sad and need some lifting up this is the person to see!!! Emma is very funny and always smiling, she wakes up smiling and goes to bed smiling! She looks, acts and thinks like her father, she is a far left brainer! Most people consider Emma to be very serious because she normally is making a serious face but she is actually just studying people and taking it all in! And she normally has the right take on people! Very sensitive to the Lord, always singing the songs from church, prays for everyone she can think of that's my Emma!! She loves going to church and will have a prayer meeting by herself anywhere. A lot of times it's at the grocery store!! She also loves Bro. Brown :) A lot of times Emma speaks in a monotone voice which adds an even more comical effect to whatever she is doing! Emma is probably the most sensitive of my children, very loving and always giving hugs and kisses. Her main love language is touch even when she has just woke up in the morning but has not brushed her teeth!!! Emma also has a laugh that is so very contagious!! Always asking questions she is my "why mom?" child! She is also my patience tester, we all need one right? I can remember one day we were trying to get out the door for an appointment and everyone else had gotten dressed except for Emma, she did not have her socks and shoes on. So i walked over handed her the socks/shoes and told her to put her socks on. I got busy doing some little things around the house and about 30 minutes later I remembered to check on her. So I called out to her "Emma did you get your socks on?" " Yes, mom look I have them on... " She lifts up her arms to show me she had put them on..... her hands. So I took a deep breath and tried to calmly say"Emma please put your socks on your feet" Her reply "Oh not my hands?" Whatever Emma is thinking goes straight to her mouth, she has yet to develop a sensor!! One time we were in Toys R Us and they all three had to go to the restroom. As we get to the restroom there is quite a line formed. As we are waiting in line, it's quiet mind you, a lady comes out of the stall. She has long hair that is very curly and it is dyed a bright orange color. As soon as I saw the lady I tried to stand in front of Emma and divert her attention....it did not work. "Hey Mom" I try to ignore her "HEY MOM" "yes Emma" "Mom look at that lady's CRAZY hair" Of course you know she is not whispering. I try to change the conversation but she just keep repeating herself. The lady, thank the Lord she was a mother, turned and smiled and walked out!! I could go on and on about all the embarrassing situations she has gotten me into!! She is constantly speaking loudly when someone is not dressed like she is use to seeing, "Mom why is that person naked?" "Mom they need to go get some clothes on" Anyway you get the point, there is never a dull moment around Emma. She is the sunshine that brightens our home!! I will share this last thing with you that happened today while we were at the grocery store.. I am pushing the cart and she walks in front of me and I accidentally ran into her so I said Emma watch where you walk, her reply "Mom watch where you drive that thing!!"

Routine and Scheduling

Come Monday we are starting our daily schedule and routine!! I am very excited and yet nervous at the same time. The Lord has been dealing with me a lot about the importance of being consistent in EVERYTHING from praising Him, going to church, living a Godly life all the time and raising my children. So after seeking the advice of a mom friend whose name is Denise I can see more plainly the need of having a scheduled life.. I tried it a few days this week and it worked wonderfully the girls new what we would be doing and when we would be doing it. I did slack off a bit but days with great grandmothers deserve no schedules!! I am also going to cut out our "away from home" days too, how can I train/raise them if I am not giving them my all? Some of you may not understand this but it works for my family and well that's all I have to say!! So pray for me if you think about it, I am excited to get started!! I know this might not be for everyone but I felt the Lord deal with me in this area when I was begging for help from Him. I read a quote and the lady was basically saying going and doing does should not take the place of actual quality time... They will not remember what all they did but they will remember if they felt secure in a stable consistent family! Good night everyone ☻

Working in the back yard!!

Today we worked in the backyard finishing our fence, adding gravel to the girls swingset and just had fun!! It was a group effort and we really appreciate everyone that came to help!! Thank you Uncle Rusty, Pap, MaBeck/Papa and of course Carlos and Rafael!! Now that the girls are getting older we are spending more and more time outside, thank the Lord!! And now with a fence up we can spend our days in the backyard and play!! I am so excited I can hardly stand it!! I loved the pictures that I took today of the girls helping Pap and Uncle Rusty with their sandbox shobels (shovels) as they say! They are always wanting to help and that makes me so happy.Even though it is going to be hotter in a few months its nice to be able to just let the girls out in the backyard to play and not go anywhere! Yes I will be with them outside jsut in case you were wonderging ☻ These kind of days even though it was hard work are the days that make families closer, helping one another is a blessing!

My husband

Chad told me that if I started writing about him he would read my blog more so I am going to write about him and we will see if he even notices!! Chad and I have been married for 8 years now.... He is a great husband, a far left brainer which can be quite trying at times since I am more in the middle of the two. He is a great father and friend. I am so glad the Lord put us together, I love him very much and appreciate the life he lives.... Now this blog is about my kids so that is all I will tell you for now :)

A wonderful day with family and friends!!

Becky was so nice to invite us all over for a wonderful day of playing and talking! The kids had so much fun and on the way home Emma said "Mom, it sure was nice of Aunt Becky to have us over!" We are all a little lobster looking and very wore out but it was so worth it! You learn a lot when you get together with moms that have a lot of the same views as you and have multiple children, no offense to those with only one child. You also get to learn a lot about each other which makes you closer! "You are my brother and you are my sister and I need you" just felt like singing that song!! It is also nice to be able to let the children play together and form bonds since they will all be in the youth together..... scary thought!!

Thanks again Aunt Becky for all the fun and the fish bowl!! I am searching for fake fish on the internet now!!

I would like to introduce you to my First Born - Anna

Anna Rebekah is my first born, technically she is not but had I have her myself she would have been the first born. While I totally believe in birth order personalities this does raise the question, are they first born traits because they were first born or are they natural born leaders? I have to go with the second one as nature knew who should have been born first!! Anyway that is not what I am blogging about!!

Anna Rebekah my beautiful leader, mother hen, so very caring of others, always giving and always bossing!! Anna is my big helper even without me having to ask her. SHe constantly cleans up after herself and her sisters, sometimes I make her sit down while the other two clean up, which she does not like! She is a perfectionist, most of the time very neat and loves to do school. We have from the get go called her "Smiley" because she smiled so much when she was a baby and still does. The only down fall of Anna is that she does not require much attention so I have to remind myself that even though she is not asking for it openly she inwardly needs it, making this not hardly a down fall at all!! Anna loves to sing and play the piano which she does every day! She takes one of her books and sets it up on the piano as her "song book", I receive so much joy just listening to her as she sings church songs and she has even made some of her own!!

When Anna was just a baby, only a few weeks old she had a very hard time keeping her milk down. When we took her to the doctor he seemed somewhat alarmed and sent us for a GI scan. It was awful becuase we could not feed her after 8pm the night before but she actually did quite well it was harder on us not feeding her than it was on Anna!! So we took her to the hospital where they gave us that chalky dye stuff that she had to drink so that they could watch it go down her esphogaus. She was so hungry that she just gulped it all down. After she drank it they placed her under the machine and took the exrays, actually I am not sure what they were called. We went home and waited for the results..... patiently. Later that day we received a call from the radiologist and a doctor from the hospital.. Let me insert I did not find the following information out until afterwards as Chad and our parents did not think I could handle the news at that time. They wanted to re test Anna, for free, because they had seen a circle around her esphagus, which was a esophageal hernia that would constrict after she ate causing her to lose her milk also explaining why she was still small. The fix for this to crack her chest open somewhat like when they do open heart surgery with only a 50% chance of survival. The recovery would have been awful not to mention all the other possible long term side affects she would have to go thru. That night was church so we took her and of course had her prayed for, I was just praying they would be able to help us not knowing actually what they had already found. The next day we took her in and repeated the test just as before. And PRAISE THE LORD there was nothing there and it was not long before she stopped spitting or should I say rocketing her meals after she ate!! She is my miracle healing baby!! I love to tell that story and can't wait to one day tell her and she actually understand it!! God is good.

Anna is named after Chad's mother but we spelt it like the Rebekah in the Bible

It takes a village to raise a child

I truly believe it takes a village (family) to raise a child! Next to God and His Son, a child's relationship with their grandparents is vital. Not only does it teach them to obey and respect someone other than the parents but it creates a bond that will last their entire lives. I speak this from experience! I love and cherish my grandparents and speak to them at least once a week if not more. I call them when I need prayer or just to talk. When my children were born they were blessed to have all four sets of great grandparents alive AND serving the Lord, what an awesome heritage!!

We spent the day today with Mamaw and the girls had a wonderful time. There is a saying that grandchildren fill the generational gap! The girls had fun running all over Mamaw's yard, swinging, and of course re arranging the rocks in the flower beds!

A Good Reason to Not Wear Crocs

It's a lot of fun around my house and I wish I had a recorder in every room to catch all the wonderfully funny things my baby girls have to say!! Plus I don't want to forget them either!! Actually make that a camcorder because sometimes they aren't saying much but it's what they are doing!!
This particular incident happened outside of the home, Pappasitos to be exact! I was working on potty training the twins so in the bathroom we were, all three of us in one stall. I had Anna on the toilet and I turned back around to pull Emma's pull up down (always trying to stay one step ahead) so that I could easily trade them off. As I am taking care of Anna I can hear the poor lady in the next stall saying "Oh.oh....oh my" and as I am hearing her I also notice the sound of liquid hitting the concrete floor....... I turn around as Emma is standing there with her pull up down teeteeing all over the floor... Which was splashing over onto the lady's feet, not so bad right?? She was wearing Crocs that have the holes all in them and the backs out!! At this point what exactly do you say to a stranger who your daughter has just peed on? I come out of the stall, the woman standing there looking to see who had just ruined her Crocs, and politely apologized....

Lesson learned? You don't always have to be one step ahead ☻

Getting Hit by a 2x4...ouch

A couple of weeks ago I was finally going to bed after a very long day and was so ready to just fall asleep..... Hey I am a mother of 3 young children I deserve some sleep to, right?! As I laid their I felt an overwhelming weight on my chest, as if someone was actually standing on me.. I have heard the expression "God came and sat on my bed post to talk to me" and while that has never happened to me personally I do believe He was speaking to me....... I tossed and turned a few times and realized you can't ignore God when He decides to deal with you!!
Let me set the stage for you... I had been praying for quite sometime for the Lord to help me and give me strength to raise my children in a way that would be pleasing to Him. We had several outstanding services at church where the Spirit really came in strong and you could feel how the Spirit was ministering to everyone and meeting everyones needs. During these services I begged and pleaded with the Lord to help me be a better mom, kind of like when Jacob wrestled with the angel all night, which kept coming to my mind as I was praying.
Now I will fast forward to that night a few weeks ago. When I figured out I was not going to sleep I got up and went into my girl's room and started praying, I was not sure what I was to be praying for but I knew it was something. All of the sudden I felt such shame as if I was being scolded by the Lord, which I was. My children came to my mind and the lack of consistency I had been showing them in daily things, such as: chores, discipline, napping, playing, doing "school" work, my mood even... And the more I prayed and thanked the Lord for showing me a main key in raising children I could feel the heavy weight lift off my chest. The Lord was showing me a part of myself that I prefer to ignore! I also felt the Lord give this thought to me and I felt Him speaking straight to my heart. "Until your children come to know ME (Jesus) for themselves YOU are the only Jesus they will see."
I just wanted to share that with everyone because I felt it so uplifting that God cares for us and loves us so much that He will help us when we ask Him to. Sometimes God has to use a pillow or hit us on head with a 2x4 to get our attention!! And even though He had to hit me that night I am so thankful He hears my prayer!!!
God is good

The reason why......

First I want to thank my friend Annette for being so kind to set my blog up for me!! I think it is beautiful and I really appreciate her efforts, especially since she has two children and is pregnant with her third, which makes it mean even more to me!

I am hoping that this blog will allow my friends and my family to watch our journey raising the three beautiful girls we have been blessed to have. There was a time when even breathing was very difficult for me, thinking I would have a nervous break down at any moment I finally turned to the Lord for help. And NOW I can actually laugh and thank the Lord for all the daily things we go thru from the simplest task of eating breakfast to the hour it takes to get them ready! This is what I want to share with you... And if some how some way I can bring you encouragement, joy and love then I will be blessed! My goal is to post at least twice a week..maybe more

Come on and enjoy the ride...

Starting to Blog

This is my first time to blog and I am a little unsure of what to do........ But I have three wonderful children and from them I can glean a lot of things to tell you!!! They are my love, my life and my entertainment!!

So I will get organized and be up and bloggin before long.... That means at least two weeks :)